After 700 years of doing what he was built for - he'll discover what he's meant for.

About a year and a half ago, I stumbled upon a description of a film. It was very lengthy and detailed even with only describing the first quarter of a masterpiece in the making. It shooked me. It shooked me in a way nothing else I have ever read in just a treatment blew me away before. Everything about it sounded incredible. Beyond what someone could think of on film. But that wasn't what killed me. In the small upperhanded corner, there was a photo. One single shot of a film that I will always remember as iconic. I printed this few page description out. I showed it to a few people hoping that they shared my excitement. I think people humored me into listening, but I don't think anyone trusted the gravity of what I saw. That paper, I still have today. That photo, was Wall-E.

I could write endlessly about Pixar's brilliance as a studio. They've taken the dedication that Walt Disney had with his animation and made something even more perfect out of it. They went beyond the perfection of animation that Walt had, but with film as a whole. These people study it, they breath for it. No other studio in the world makes genius after genius movie like these guys do. They out do themselves, almost every single time. It's unheard of.

What I have heard of is negativity from people saying that the golden age of film is gone. We'll never get Bergman type films back. We'll never see a day where Fellini makes a film. We'll never have what Welles did with Citizen Kane. New cinema is gone. That could be true. We've got nothing left but CGI and what are we making out of that? Adaptating Beowulf and Transformers. All that I would agree with even. But, we have Pixar and I think it's every bit as good as Bergman or Fellini. I think it's every bit as important. Yes, it's apples and oranges as far as content. However, you ask 10 people if they've seen 8 1/2 or The Seventh Seal...maybe 2 have, 3 tops. Now how many of us have seen Toy Story? Every single person.

I haven't seen Wall-E yet. I plan on at least seeing it once this weekend. Perhaps a second and third time as well. I'll experience with different people. I already know it's perfect. I felt it for Finding Nemo when that came out. Andrew Stantion might be the best thing that happened to cinema in the past decade as far as I'm concerned with what he's directed.

Some of the reviews just to back up my claim of greatness:

"I must drop my inhibitions about dropping the M word -- especially since I've already used magnificent -- and call WALL-E the masterpiece that it is." - Wall Street Journal

"Some day, there will be college courses devoted to this movie." - New York Post

"It's remarkable to see any film, in any genre, blend honest sentiment with genuine wit and a visual landscape unlike any other." - Chicago Tribute

"Daring and traditional, groundbreaking and familiar, apocalyptic and sentimental, Wall-E gains strength from embracing contradictions that would destroy other films." - Los Angeles Times

"Pixar's ninth consecutive wonder of the animated world is a simple yet deeply imagined piece of speculative fiction...it has plenty to say, but does so in a light, insouciant manner that allows you to take the message or leave it on the table" - Variety

"Enough to restore your sense of wonder not only in movies, but in the universe as well." - metromix.com

"The idea that an ancient Hollywood musical, with its love duets and foot-tapping dance numbers, would be the thing that awakens emotions in both humans and robots, is pure genius." - Orlando Sentinel

I could go on...but you get the idea

Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me

First of all, I accidentally posted the wrong version of my movie. I might get around to posting the final draft of it up or I might not. It takes a few hours to load on youtube, so I don't know if I have the patience to sit through that again.




Yesterday I found an old Vanity Fair from a few months back lying around my room. I picked it up and started to read it. I was surprised by the brilliant articles in it. Like the one on Joan Crawford on the same book I was about to read. I was especially engrossed in the article all about the history of The Graduate.

Now The Graduate is one of the best films ever made. There's no denying that. One thing I always heard about it is that you don't even have to go to film school, you can just learn everything you'll ever need to know about film from watching The Graduate. I don't know if that's true, but I would have to say, the article I read was inspiring. I actually haven't ever seen the whole thing. I've watched pieces of it in my film classes. The first twenty minutes and the last twenty minutes for the most part. I know what happens. I've seen the biggest and important stuff. However, the article is fascinating because of how it came to be.

Originally, it was just a book someone read. Others viewed it as unfilmable, but ultimately they made a brilliant film out of it. You can see the generation gap in the sixties. It definitely wasn't the films from the 50s anymore. All those stars were 40 or older, but it wasn't quite the hollywood we advanced from in the 70s. The next person to get a hold of The Graduate, was Mike Nichols - a favorite director of mine. He's mostly a stage director, but what impresses me the most, is not only is connection to actors, but the camera. For a man who has done so much stage directing (and still doing it), he does the most unique and incredible things with a camera to capture something. I just recently watched Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf? and loved that. I don't think I've ever seen anything more insane than that. For that to be his first film, is an incredible thing - a gutsy thing. People don't even make films that crazy now a days. The Graduate was his second one. An incredible feat. He signed on for The Graduate before he even finished Wolf as well.

You really just have to see his work to know how he uses the camera. The shot of Dustin Hoffman under the legs of Mrs. Robinson is an iconic shot if you ever saw one. In Virginia Wolf, there are countless shots that make the film feel more insane than the acting to enhance it.

The Graduate was ahead of it's time. About a 21 year old guy who doesn't know what he wants to do with his life has an affair with his parents adult friend and then he falls for the woman's daughter. It's absurd to think about, but it's very much a piece about figuring out your life than anything. The concept was unheard of. No one wanted to touch it. Dustin Hoffman was an unknown at the time. No one wanted a jewish stage actor either. Anne Bancroft had never even played sexy before. It was a first with everything. Even the music, done by two unknowns at the time - Simon and Garfunkel is iconic. Everyone has heard that song. It's just perfect for the film.

What's inspiring for me, is to think of a film that was completely outside of the box. It ran only in art house films. Nobody understood it, until they did the college circuit. Students saw it 15 times. I mean, that's art when it can connect with a younger generation like that. It's inspiring to think of a time when stuff like this wasn't made, and then to be the first of all kinds. It's incredible. It just makes me have hope that there's still a film that can shock and surprise and impress be left to be made. Perhaps, maybe by me.

The Big Date

It is my sprit that addresses your spirit; just as if both had passed through the grave, and we stood at God's feet, equal - as we are

I've been thinking of how I see things with a passion for life. I feel like seizing moments, but I don't have any moments to seize. It's the tragedy of my story. I view the culture of music, film and books with awe. I don't know how a person can just create out of thin air. I admire stories and words. I think that's why I love these things more than anything. I mean, to say something, a great quote or line. To describe a feeling that's indescribable, that's worth something. I mean, a picture or a metaphor, you can interpret that. Don't get me wrong, art is wonderful because you can interpret anything. But to say something exactly how you mean - it's like cutting air.

Maybe lately, I've been surrounding myself with these things that make me realize how much beauty there is with words. I've been reading Jane Eyre and I love it. I never found myself reading "classics" typically before. I never saw myself as someone to relate to something from the 1800s but there's so much beauty in the tale. Words weren't written so beautiful before. So much passion and love went into this novel. It was harder then to write a manuscript, I'm sure of. The time and labor paid off. Each word, literally feels perfectly chosen. Like it was meant to be there. I admire it wholeheartedly for it's language. I think I need to use more adjectives in my sentences or something.

I picked up the new coldplay cd and I've been listening to it nonstop. The only other thing I've been listening to is the other Coldplay albums to compare. I mean, the music in this one is brilliant. I think my most listened to song on the album is "Life in Technicolor" which is completely instrumental. However, I find that their lyrics are some of the most beautiful words ever sung. It just makes me feel good inside.

I mean, back to words- words - you have to imagine the beauty when you read them. I honestly think they're the most powerful force in the world. They tell a story with everything. Everything has a title or a name. No matter what you ever look at or ever see or hear or feel. You always - ALWAYS - use words to depict it. That makes all the difference.

You see the world in black and white
No colour or light
You think you'll never get it right
But you're wrong... you might

Now, if we all have our own, like, individual, unique soul, right, where do they all come from?

Somedays I really like hiding. I like to be alone with my thoughts, even if I have no real thoughts at all.

Some days I feel like no one ever understands me and I wonder if anyone ever will. I mean, I don't even understand me. And I am me. I use to think I was meant to do something. But really what gives me any right to do so? Because I'm conscious? Because I'm self aware. Because I survived? Darwin's Survival of the Fittest is suppose to make me feel bigger in this universe. Even bigger than religion which he disproves. But how can anyone be bigger than themselves? We make people bigger than who they are, but ultimately our favorite/most important inspirations in our lives are just people who had their own problems, had milk in their cereal and ultimately felt just as insecure as anyone else. We make others bigger than themselves. But we never truly understand them. Oh - how we want to. But do lovers even ever understand each other? I mean truly. Do we ever have soul mates?

I'd like to meet a soul. Not a person, but a soul. We assume souls are our conscious, moral fiber and well being. But why do we just assume that the soul of a person is the good? What if, I'm a good person, but a bad soul? Just one day, I'd like to feel like a soul, not a person, but a spirit that doesn't need anything except perhaps another soul to float with. Is that understanding? Two souls staring into each other becoming one? I would feel like that would be love. But, sometimes souls don't connect. Sometimes we never let ourselves be aware. Some people just aren't conscious. They consume themselves in things to take that away. Maybe those people who are hurting and inflicting their own souls - they don't even understand or connect with their souls. How can two souls meet if we don't even understand our own soul?

For now, I'll have nothing but myself. Even on good days, I might not even have that. I don't even have today. Because, today will eventually be gone. The only thing that ever stays still and consistent for me is in fact, me. I'd hate to lose myself. So this is why I like hiding. My thoughts, my soul. All mine. I guess I like to be alone so much because it's even crowded in there. With that soul of mine taking up so much space, it's hard to feel empty.

I think when I'm with the people I love though, my soul leaves and hangs out with the other souls around me. I picture it joking around the way children do with other children. Souls together I mean. Like play-mates. I suppose it's why I feel so good and forget myself with others. But at the end of the day after playing, my soul always comes back to me and rests itself and it's problems with me.

So,perhaps we never have real soul mates, but just play-mates. Like the ones our mommies or daddies use to take us to when we were little. And perhaps then, we are the parents for our soul. And after we die, our souls are on their own for the first time. And we may never know what our soul children do without us. You just have to trust and understand them the best way you can. And then, my soul will find it's own way. I think I'd like that.

I don't want to command what my soul should do forever. I want it to be bigger than me. And maybe that's why we never understand other people or even ourselves for that matter. We're solely focused on what we leave behind - what kind of souls we raise to illuminate and to reflect ourselves.

So really, it's not my problems that matter. It's my soul I'm worried about.

Wow. I really blame Before Sunrise for this random rant.

I had the same butt sand as Marilyn Monroe's butt sand.

Well I'm back from my long waited trip. It really makes me sad that it's over. I now sort of ran out of things to look forward to now. Don't get me wrong, my life isn't over but I just accomplished something and I'm at the end of the list for now. I didn't want to leave the city. I mean, I loved it. Now, granted, I still fear that it will chew me up and spit me out alive but there was a beauty and excitement to it. I loved the different parts of San Diego. Whether it was the beach where Billy Wilder filmed Some Like It Hot or Downtown area, it's an incredible city and I could understand why anyone would want to live there. LA is like an entire different ballpark. Like, I don't know why you wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I just had this smile on my face that never went away. The only reason I could get myself to leave was to tell myself that I have to go back. Like, I can't imagine not going back. I have the be in that city again. Julia was right, even the bums look happier there. When we flew away, all I could think of looking down at the city was how it looked like a city shining of gold.

I'm sure I'll be recapping it again and again for the rest of the summer, but I'll just leave you with that.

PS. The Marilyn Monroe Buttsand thing is when I was on the same beach as where they filmed Some Like It Hot, clearly, she got sand in her butt and I got sand in my butt - hence, the same butt sand as Marilyn Monroe's butt sand. My friends like to argue that with science, there's no way it would be the same sand. I argue that Marilyn Monroe defied science, so why can't her butt sand?