Under Pressure

I need to really start updating this thing if I'm going to continue on with the whole "blogging" universe. I don't really have much to share. Apple is coming along right now. We're in a millionth rewrite, but we did have a test shoot for that. I haven't seen the footage yet, but hopefully it looks good - and if not, then we'll make it better. It's hard to believe it's almost the end of another semester. I can't believe how far I feel I've come. Two short screenplays written and one in production. It's exciting. Next semester isn't going to be the same. I'm going to really miss this creative flow and energy going on. But I suppose it's up to me to keep it going. I think I will. I feel like film just flows through me. Like a take-up spool or something (FILM REFERENCE!)

So, the film world - some crazy stuff going on in it. Basically Indepedent Film is dead if you haven't noticed. Many "indie" studios have folded - such as Warner Classic and Paramount Vantage. Last year there were 12, this year there were 6. Part of it may have to do with the economy. It's hard to believe Paramount Vantage - a company that brought on No Country For Old Men and There Will Be Blood from last year is gone now. Those were like the two best films. But it's changing. It's exciting to know its changing and that by the time I get out there I'll have to make up a new form, but it is. Christine Vachon, who is one of the writers of our producing textbook and a very successul producer with her own company - Killer Films is like the Indie Queen. She's done small stuff like Kids and Swoon but then slightly bigger films with I'm Not There which company partner Todd Haynes (who is brilliant, just wanna put that out there). Anyway, she's the Indie Queen since the 90s. We have based all of our knowledge to how to be a successful Independent film producer from her and she just SOLD HALF of her company so she could make 40-60 million dollar picture films. Woah! This all happened in the past week. It's nuts. Like everything we learned just went out the window. I just think it's interesting because clearly there might be a new indie movement. Miramax sorta killed it and Fox Searchlight definitly put the stake in its heart. Someone who said they were only gonna make independent films now sees the movement is time where "indie" is dead. I'm sure it will come back eventually. Not in the same form, but something else will amerge. It always does. Maybe I'll have to make Mumble Movies in Brooklyn if thats what it takes...
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SO....In other exciting news. Tim Burton fascinates me. Here's a director who can single handly take his vision and beat you over the head with it while destroying your childhood. Don't get me wrong. This man has made some great movies - Edward Scissorhands, Beetlejuice, Ed Wood, Sleepy Hollow, Mars Attacks...Hell I'll even give him Big Fish.

With that said, anything he's done this decade (give or take Big Fish) has been a remake or an adaptation. He's a guy who literally made a brand of himself which he markets to Hot Topic Tweens. Whether or not he's doing it himself, somehow his style has caught on. No other director has a mainstream cult following like he does. I mean, sure everyone can obsess about QT or Speilberg or Wes Anderson but they're not making t-shirts and bedding out of it. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - unnecessary. Sweeney Todd - flat. Corpse Bride - awful. I'm sorry if you may disagree but it's true. Anyway, he's raping - ahem, remaking Alice in Wonderland. Sure on paper he sounds PERFECT for the job. In a way he's brilliant because he makes me want to see what he'll do with it out of pure curiosity...but thats the thing. I know already what he's going to do with it. He casted ALL the people we have already expected him to. Depp, Carter, Rickman, Lee...no surprise there. The same people. I called Depp as Madhatter before Depp was even cast. I knew what he was gonna do before he even did it. The only person I'm intrigued about is Anne Hathaway because she doesn't really fit in the universe. Anyway, I'm trying not to hate too hard. I always see his films and give him the benefit of the doubt and I'll do the same for Alice...but I'm can't get excited about this right now.

So here's Depp apparently in his Madhatters costume:



Looks weird...but about the same. In a way, it's something you would never expect. It's different...but it fits in the Burton universe. It seriously looks like if Edward Scissorhands meets Willy Wonka. Throw in a little David Bowie. Sure it's interesting but it doesn't feel fresh anymore. We'll see.

Conversations With Myself

Everyday I ask myself, “What’s the point.” Everyday I feel a little bit closer and a little bit further from the truth. Should you become discouraged? Do you run away from your problems? Everyday, someone somewhere gives up. Will I be that person next? I keep asking, “What stands in my way?” I answer, “Everything.”

Yes, I talk to myself a lot.

It’s a funny business – Film. It keeps dying and becoming reborn every few years. In a way, Independent film is dead. Completely – 100% dead. No one will ever see your film. You won’t make any money. Nobody cares. On the other hand – it doesn’t matter. I have my whole future ahead of me and I have a lot left to learn. After you escape college, it’s an exciting time because you have no idea where you are going to end up. I could sell out and work for some big company that will probably drain my very own soul out of me, or I could keep to myself, walk around withholding my very own genius and hope one day, I can make the greatest film ever with 50,000 dollars to only throw away all the money for a film no one will see.

Hmm, what to do? I was thinking that today. There are very few options for me in my life that will drive me one or the other day. I can give up, sell out or never surrender but accomplish nothing probably.

I like this time in my life when everything is exciting and hopeful. One day, I’ll be jaded, but no that day is not today. Everyday, I have long conversations with myself and everyday I ask one final question: “What’s left to gain?” The answer: “Everything.”

So I keep producing and I keep writing. Eventually, everything’s gotta fall into place, right?

Uh oh. Another question. Another answer I gotta come up with myself. I’ll save that conversation for myself for another day.

Yes We Can

"Rosa Parks sat so Martin Luther King could walk. Martin Luther King walked so Obama could run. Obama's running so we can all fly." - Jay-Z


Obama won! I don't know what I can say that hasn't already been said or how I can add to the popular opinion of this great man. I look forward to the future. I don't know what's gonna happen, but I feel a little bit better than someone I voted for is in office. When Obama won, my roommates and I went out onto Broad Street and marched to City Hall (again for the third time this week). Apparently Philadelphia is becoming a city of riots. Maybe because we're so passionate, but it felt good to be out there.

When I got to Center City, it was drizzling a little bit and Obama had come on the radio for his speech. Someone had their car doors and windows wide open blasting it as loud as possible. A very rowdy crowd soon becamse hush as we let this man's voice take us over. There I was standing in the heart of Philadelphia with hundreds of strangers listening to the voice of hope and future and history. I saw two african american girls holding each other for warmth with tears coming down their eyes. I could see how important it felt for them. But a few people over, I literally saw a white man with tears in his eyes. Obama stands for more than just one race, but for all races and all types of people and all kinds of hope. People have come a long way. This presidental race proved it. I felt so lucky to be able to just have my small vote be a part of it.

Philadelphia!

So last weekend, I attended the greatest wedding I've ever seen. It was called Rachel Getting Married. Now if you don't know Rachel you should and if you don't know Kym, her sister, then you REALLY should because she's Anne Hathaway. If you haven't caught on, I'm talking about a movie. This is the ultimate wedding film and family film. Jonathan Demme who over a decade ago redefinied a genre with Silence of the Lambs has done it again. What I love about this is his choice to film it as if the camera is a character itself. It's intimate and you're in this set space of a limited time - just a few days. You come in on these characters problems not at the very beginning like most films are but right smack in the middle of it. You see it as it is. It doesn't give everything that happened in the past, but just enough so you can follow where this family dysfunction comes from. Anne Hathaway is great, giving her best performance to date, but the rest of the cast, while mostly unknowns or theaters actors are all very strong. While it feels like a huge ensemble, and it is, Demme cast most of his friends and family as extras and the cast's friends and families so everyone felt comfortable with one another. I knew I'd love this film about half way through, there's a rehearsal dinner scene where about 10 different people give speeches. Half of these people, are really limited roles, some of the people giving a speech, we haven't seen in the film and won't see again, but what they have to say about Rachel and her future-husband is so beautiful and of course, it's all leading up to what Rachel is going to say and how it's gonna affect this family and boy does her speech deliver. There's so much to this film that makes it great, check it out.



It's a great time to live in Philadelphia. The Philadelphia Phillies won the 2008 World Series this past week and the entire city just went nuts. Out on Broad Street, seas of people marched all the way to City Hall to riot and it was nuts. A few film friends and I took a camera out and documented the chaos at its finiest, catching people hanging off stop lights, screaming drunk and standing on top of moving vehicles. It was unbelievable. I've never seen anything like it in all my life and I probably never will again. City Hall was a complete riot and it was amazing. That was Wednesday night and this afternoon on Friday, they had a Philadelphia Phillies Parade and even more people were down there celebrating, detched out in their red and white. We saw all the players come by on top of buses and the whole Broad Street and Market and City Hall went crazy. It was the most incredible moment I've ever seen in the city. It makes me proud to live in the city. Its been like 25 years and we earned it.

Sunshine Cleaning

So this is the blog where I shamelessly plug a movie. Sunshine Cleaning. I remember a time when this movie was announced and I went bananas - Amy Adams AND Emily Blunt. Someone could have knocked me with a feather because I would've fell over. I love these actresses so much. They're so talented it's ridiculous. Amy Adams is so full of charm and grace. Since Junebug, I can't rave enough about her which is one of the greatest performances I may have ever seen and the most heartbreaking. Honestly, I walk around and try to just channel her. Emily Blunt you can't take your eyes off of her in a single scene. She might have stolen The Devil Wears Prada from Meryl Streep but she owns everything else she's in just as well.

Anyway, I love the premise of Sunshine Cleaning - two sisters start a cleaning business that cleans up dead bodies. It sounds as "indie' and "quirky" as it gets, but the drama stuff is in there too. You can't have a great movie these days without the great Alan Arkin either. I'm really just psyched about this film. Big Beach Productions has a great team of produces and they've put together some really great films over the past few years. I have a lot of respect for them.

I think this looks good. Really Really good. It premired at Sundance and sort of - disappeared for a while. I thought it was in distribution hell or worse - dead. To my surprise, this popped up the other day. I've watched this trailer no less than 15 times. I know every beat of it by heart and I still adore it. There's something about these actresses, something about this film's formula - I just know I'm already in love with this movie.

Enjoy.

Tax Breaks

The first thing I have to address is an article in the New York Times
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/12/us/12incentives.html?pagewanted=1&_r=3&sq=pitt&st=cse&scp=1&adxnnlx=1223841758-yuuojxrImIE0G4ekgtJKrw"

It talks of the tax breaks that state gives for films. NYT seems to be against this in the sense of how much taxplayers are going to be giving up to bail out wallstreet, but let me explain how tax breaks for films from the states are a GOOD thing. First of all, it's super expensive to make movies. Even a good independent film these days cost millions of dollars to make. California has gotten way too expensive for these independent films to film and compete in. Same with NYC. Now, if you go to Michigan - you get a 40% tax break, so it's cheaper to make the films. You can either take a loan out with that and use it to make your budget more money, or you can save that money so instead of spending all that money, you save some of it. It lowers costs or you can get more for your money. In return, you film your movie there and create jobs. You hire extras. You hire catering. You hire people from local areas. You bring a cast and crew that you pay to stay in hotels. It's CLEARLY a good thing for their economy. They get more tourism and attention. It's not just the glamour of films. It's what films can do for even a small town. Pennsylvania has a 25% tax break. NYC is only 5%. Even Connecticut is 35% I believe, so it's cheaper to just drive across the state boarder and film there and film exterior shots for NYC and pretend. Overall, it's an excellent thing. I'd hate to see that go away because then, we would be filming more indie films in Canada and losing those jobs.

On Friday, I heard the producer of Day Zero - Anthony Moody speak and he was really great. He talked a little about these tax breaks which makes a producers job so much easier. It's so hard to make a movie, so we really need theses. Moody really talked about about film and the industry and producing in general and I really learned a whole lot. I felt so much more inspired and I never for a second doubt that I'm pursuing the right career for myself. Sure, I've doubted myself and my chances - everyday, but I've never doubted what I love and believe in.

Report back to me when it makes sense.

My first post in two months! This is a big deal. It's like I've been too busy for the internet lately. That's somewhat true. I just got internet a week ago though so I've been living without it. It made me appreciate the finer things in life though. Like rainbows and roses and Philadelphia bums. Actually I didn't appreciate anything. I just wanted to check my facebook and webkinz! I had over 1000 emails but at least my dalmation didn't die!

So what have I been up to? Well, I've been living in Philadelphia for about six weeks now. I'm really enjoying it. I like my apartment a lot. Right now, I'm sitting on my new chair which is really comfy listening to christmas music and watching the Phillies win! I picked a good baseball city to live in at least (unlike Chicago). I'm taking a lot of interesting classes. I have biotechnology which I hope after today's test I'm not completely failing. I'm taking Foreign Governments which I really like - it's interesting to learn why we're democratic and why that's important. I have Women in Literature which I love. I mean where else am I going to get to write a paper on avant-garde writer Gertrude Stein discussing whether or not Tender Buttons is an erotic domestic love poem for Alice B. Tolkas?

I'm really getting out a lot of my film classes this semester. I have Screenwriting II which is really getting my creative juices flowing. I just finishing writing a short screenplay called Goodbye Trixie and I'm gonna revise that soon and I already have another one planned out as well. Perhaps I'll end up directing one of them one day. I'm just working my way up to writing a feature and improving my skills. I'm also taking a producing class right now which I LOVE! I'm really into producing - getting the film made. It's exciting to be a part of the creative element as well as the pre-production and production side of it. It's really the best of all the worlds. Right now we're in pre-production hell as some like to put it. Apple (the script I'm producing) is in another re-write but I'm confident it's going to end up somewhere very good. I got a bunch of meetings coming up with my co-producers and director going over the script breakdown, redflagging and production scheduling - EXCITING! Most probably wouldn't think so, but I'm really into it. I like being responsible for something that's actually to mean something.



I've been really busy lately so I haven't been watching movies like I should. I did catch The Coen Brother's Burn After Reading though. After No Country for Old Men, the Coen Brothers wanted to prove that they're not going to stick to just one type of film - which is what I love about them. They could have easily just taclked another serious drama and done it beautifully but I think what a lot of people miss about the Coen Brothers is their twisted dark humor. I first noticed it when I saw Fargo a few years back. I mean, that movie is a comedy. Don't let all the murders fool you. It may be as intense and bloody as NCFOM but Fargo is hilariously twisted. Burn After Reading is a lot closer to The Big Lewboski which is one of my favorites. The Big Lewboski is one of the most quotable films I've ever seen. One thing I love about the Coens is that they're very much throw-back directors to older films. The Big Lewboski may seem new to some people, but you can clearly see The Big Sleep connections. In a lot of their films, I just notice little things that can connect with other films. I really appreicate that about them. They take something older and update it in their own fresh way.

Anyway, Burn After Reading is really funny. It's very similar to The Big Lewboski's "stupid" humor. The characters are really enjoyable and rich. Frances McDermond is a great actress and she hasn't been funnier since..well...Fargo. Brad Pitt has the funniest role I've ever seen him play as well. He's really the best actor of our generation. Each role he does is really different from the last. Say what you will and argue about who is your favorite - Brad Pitt has to be acknowledged. Pretty much, I love the connections in the movie and how one bad thing that happens leads to another bad decisions. The movie at times doesn't make perfect sense and it doesn't need to. It's just a cause and effect type film. This is how stupid people are basically. The film isn't for everyone, but if you're as twisted as I am - you'll really enjoy this.




Oh and lately, Saturday Night Live has been getting a lot of attention with Tina Fey and her Sarah Palin impression. While, it's pitch perfect - there's no doubt about that. I live for Tina Fey. I worship the ground she walks on. I can't wait for 30 Rock to come back on. Tina Fey is my hero....with that said, the BEST skit I've seen in a really long time has to be given credit to Kristen Whig. This girl needs to be given more attentions. She's hilarious. She's the best cast member on (Tina Fey guest appearances and Amy Poheler) aside. Kristen just has an energy that no one else can even bring up to the table. Watch this skit - I've seen it no less than 10 times and I DIE laughing with tears rolling down my face every time.

Go Gold or Go Home.

What's 6 foot 4 in height. 6 foot 7 wing span. 14 size feet. Eats 12,000 calories a day?

It's no riddle. It's Michael Phelps.



I love the Olympics because no matter what you're watching, it's freaking incredible. Jaw dropping amazing. There is no swimmer on this planet as good as him or ever has been. I mean, the guy is like a fish. I read that the way he even bends his feet, they're more like flippers than anything. Every part of his body is 100 percent perfect to be a swimmer. It's like genetically he was built for this. I mean, he's just the best.

The best. Now that's a thing I think about often but I never realized the concept before. To be the best. I mean, can you ever imagine being great at something and then competing again others as great as you and then beat them knowing you are the best in the world. I mean, even to be the best in the world at like blinking or peeling oranges. That would be a hell of a title. People would ask me to peel oranges all damn day but something truly astounding that most people can't even do to begin with?

I just watched the girls gymnastics and that was incredible. I mean, I sat here crying my eyes out at the medal ceremony. I can't even imagine the pressure it must take to do events and stuff like that. The weight on your shoulders. The point system is way harder than any mathematical equation I could even dream of but to do all those things perfectly? There are no words. So Nastia Liukin and Shawn Johnson won Gold & Silver in a 1-2 punch for the USA. I was no nervous it was almost unbearable. It all came down to the final performance. These girls are younger than me and they have achieved something I never will. It's not like it's important or life saving to the world but again - to be the best at something. To wear that on your shoulders everyday. That's what makes you a champion.

One thing I will say though that I don't like is that, ok Michael Phelps is considered the greatest olympician of all time. A title he certainly deserves with his talent, but it's all in swimming. How can someone beat 8 medals in one year? Soccer players only get one. Gymnastics might be able to get a few but not 8. I want to see someone get like 10 gold medals in like 5 different sports. Now there's an athlete. Of course, it's probably impossible. I understand swimming the butterfly 400and the 100 are completely different training for freestyle and relays and all that. It's amazing he can do all that. But give me something who is the best ever. I want to see someone non-human!!

Oh and BTW Michael Phelps is my new boyfriend. He told me I was better than all the Gold medals in the world.

He's Just Not That Into You

I've been feeling pretty good the last few days. I've been running everyday so that just makes me feel really good. I like getting back in shape. Before, I was too lazy to do it but the park is right next to where I work, so it's on the way home which is great! I've been out in the sun everyday tanning. I figure summer is over in a month, so it's best to try to get the most color than I can. I guess, I'm just trying to feel less lazy and more productive about myself. Nothing wrong about that. I already feel better than I did this whole summer. Not to mention, it makes me more tired at night so I sleep better. Unlike my mom who tries to wake me up at 3:30 in the morning because she can't sleep. Who does that?!

Tomorrow is my Grandpa's 75 birthday and we're going out to dinner. I guess it's a big deal to be alive 75 years. I'm currently in the middle of On Golden Pond with Katherine Hepburn and shes about that old in it. It's basically about Katherine Hepburn and Henry Fonda being old. It's very interesting, but also sad because I'm so use to seeing them when they were my age even. But, they're still amazing actors in their respective parts. I'm about an hour into it, but I really like it so far.

This weekend, I'm either going to the beach or hitting up Philadelphia. I'm not sure which yet, but either one sounds excellent to me. On one hand, I wanna go to Philly and see my house but on the other hand, it's the beach - who could pass that up? I just hope something really fun happens.

I just finished the book - He's Just Not That Into You. Normally I wouldn't read self help books just because I don't really find them all that interested and I'm already picky about what I read. I decided to check this one out because my girl - Jennifer Aniston is going to be in the movie based off the book next Feb. I have no idea how they made a movie about it because it doesn't have one bit of narrative in the whole thing. Still, it was a funny and insightful book about men and what you should expect when you are dating them. It was basically a "who not to date" book. Basically, until that perfect guy comes that treats me like the fantastic woman I am - I should be a lesbian. I'm sure though if everyone who ever read the book decided not to date men anymore, we'd just have a "She's Just Not That Into You" book as well. I think it makes no difference who you are dating though as far as that goes. Dating is hard.

And I'm afraid to sleep because of what haunts me such as living with the uncertainties.

I feel like I should be talking about what's going on with me. Lately I've just been rambling about movies or other non related topics of myself. Perhaps, I'm trying to avoid figuring out what's going on with "me" - whoever that may or may not be.

So Summer is slowing down. It honestly felt like that since I came back from California. Ironically, that's all I can think about going back to now. I have no idea how I'm going to do it, but I need to. It's just one of those small things that feels like you are finally making the right decision. Still, that's a long way off. I think about it a lot, but then I wonder who will come with me and who I'll leave behind. Obviously I can't take people with me who don't want to go but I have my own dreams and I'd be selfish to ask anyone I love to change their plans. I make plans with certain people. Some people I can't imagine my life without and I'm still living without them. I think about where people are often. I wonder and I miss them. I wonder what they're doing, what they're life is like. How'd we would be if we still saw each other. So many people pass right on through and I guess I'm expected more to do the same. Hopefully somewhere I'll satisfy the right balance.

I've been stressing about living in Philadelphia recently. Mainly because I went from one house to having a water leaking/mold problem to now trying to get another house. I'm signing the lease today and hopefully that will be the last I'll worry about. I want to go down to Philadelphia next week and start to settle a bit in and try to think about enjoying the city. Hopefully I can take advantage to what the city has to offer. I know in a month from now, I'll be completely on my own. I mean, I'll still be in school but I won't be in a dorm room. Everyone I know is either 21 or older or on the verge soon. I have no idea what to expect with my wild days from now. In fact, I have no idea what to expect from today. I'm suppose to go clubbing tonight. It's approaching fast. Still, I'm excited about school and seeing my friends and what crazy nonsense I'm going to get myself into, who I'll see often to share it with and what kinds of projects and knowledge I'll gain from the next few months. I'm doing some producing and screenwriting in the fall so I can't wait for that.

I'm working on a screenplay right now. What I'll reveal about it is that it's a real life story based on some of my high school events. It's very strange to have to make yourself recall and revisit memories and photographs. Times that I recall were bad, I almost no longer recall as bad because of how it made me as a person and how I reflect on it now. I miss almost everything from High School. I hope that when I finish this, I'll be able to have some closure on the subject. It's also very strange to depict people from your memory. Obviously this being based on a real story from High School - I'm taking from other people I actually know. It feels sort of wrong writing about people you know - especially people you don't see anymore because I wonder if anyone would read or see what I wrote, how'd they take it. It's a very strange thing but I'm just trying to get out what I experienced. I'm not trying to tell anyone elses story but that's what you end up doing. But no one else is out there writing their life and if they ever choose to do that, then I would support whatever they had to say about me. Each person has a chance to tell their sides of things. I suppose that's what I do on this blog - tell my sides to things.

Anyway, I'm full of inspiration and hope and nostalgic at this point. Not too shabby for me I suppose.

You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

I wrote this review Friday night.


Its hour 36 since I’ve had a full night’s sleep and I’ve only had two hours of sleep since I’ve seen The Dark Knight. I went to the midnight screening. I got home around 4 in the morning only to have to get up at 6 and be in the city the morning. I have a heart monitor on, I had tests done, I went to work and I spend four long hours at a family member’s dinner party. Needless to say, the only thing left on my mind still is The Dark Knight – that is when I allow myself to focus.

Right now, I’m not even sure how I’m still functioning with 2 hours of sleep out of 36 and with eight wires hooked up to my chest. My head feels sort of like how the guy must have felt when the Joker showed him his “magic trick”. If you’ve seen The Dark Knight, you know what I’m talking about

Forget everything you’ve seen about the Dark Knight up until now. Ignore every trailer, clip or soundbite. Don’t even think about looking at the movie poster. Forget you even think you know what a Batman movie looks like or how you would never imagine a perfect one would be. The reason I tell you to just toss away those expectations is that you can’t even prepare. They will exceed them all. You may think you know how great this movie is, but you can’t possibly unless you witnessed it yourself.

I suppose that’s a conundrum for the review. How can you take this review seriously if I’m telling you to forget it? Well, it doesn’t matter if you read this, forget it after word because you have to see it for yourself. You have to see the Joker and what he’s all about.

First of all, Heath Ledger – wow. I mean, like I said, you can’t even imagine. I’ve seen the film and I still can’t wrap my head around how good he is. How many special moments there are in the film with him. Every second of the Joker is good. I’m pretty sure that every single take that Nolan did with Ledger as the Joker is perfect. I mean, I could’ve watched the same one scene with the Joker in it and it would’ve been mesmerizing. That’s it folks. Boys and Girls. One and all. You don’t need to look any further for a better performance out of a batman film, out of a single actor.

Aaron Eckhart is pitch perfect as Harvey Dent. I mean, this is a Harvey Dent film above even Joker or Batman. He’s the good face of Gotham, soon to be the real hero of the city. He’s the white knight, looking to change the wave of crime. He’s one step forward in a city that is corrupt and perhaps, one day, with him, you no longer need a batman. Dent’s an obviously complicated character. I heard one person say that Joker had no character depth. I wouldn’t agree but I would say that Nolan’s take on the Joker is more of a character study. The real change and heart of the story is Dent. The take on Two-Face is almost very bit as good as the Joker. He’s torn, he’s vengeful. He has his reasons, but the tragedy is that you feel for him. When he’s Two Face he’s just as manic and evil as Joker but at least he follows his own rules (the Joker has none) – the single flip of a coin proves he’s letting fate and chance choose for him. He’s no longer willing to accept any responsibility on his own. My only problem I had with Two Face is that I wish we had more time with him. It’s Harvey Dent’s movie so I wish we would’ve saved Two Face for a better half of a third movie.

Batman is sandwiched between two of the greatest villains in the history of comic books. This is a villain’s movie as much as the first movie was a Batman movie. Certainly, we get some great scenes with Bruce Wayne and some great action with Batman. The Dark Knight is more about Gotham than above all else. Bruce Wayne struggles with his symbol (like the first film) because now he has created something better than Bruce Wayne, bigger than Batman but something that affects the entire city. The first movie was a set up but this is the real movie Nolan wanted to make. He had to set up Batman’s character so he could fully develop how others are affected by it. It’s no longer Batman’s movie and Batman no longer belongs to Bruce Wayne – but for everyone. That’s what makes Batman’s character so good in this (and Bruce Wayne’s struggle realizes this). Batman has to be bigger than himself. He’s created chaos and he has to live with it.

The film is rather long and at one point I said it felt like three films put together with all that had happened. I still can’t believe that was all one film. It feels as long as it is, but that’s only because it carries so much weight. Nolan could have easily dragged it out but to make it stand on it’s own is every bit as perfect. This will be the Godfather 2 of comic book movies. I mean, there is nothing else that will compare. My one biggest concern is the “set up” for a sequel. It’s not nearly as clear as the ending of Begins. Nolan could easily stop right here and it wouldn’t matter. I don’t see him even finding a story as grand as this one. The ending writes a challenge. Something that I can’t imagine how one would tackle it but also intriguing to see where he could go. I have no idea what’s in store for the future of it.

The Dark Knight is one film that should be studied when making a modern film of any kind. Heath Ledger’s should have his name engraved into statues by this time next year and Nolan should be applauded by all as telling one of the best stories this decade as ever seen in a movie. All I know is that The Dark Knight not only leaves me feeling good about Batman, summer, comic books, action sequences, story telling, performances and directing - but about all movies of any kind in general. It's an incredible feeling when you walk out of something that reinvigorates what you love.

I Believe in Harvey Dent

So I check my regular movie news updates this morning and I'm just overwhelmed with some damn good news.

First of all, Quentin Tarantino's project Inglorious Bastards is getting off the ground. The guy has only been writing it for years way back even before Kill Bill. I'm obviously super excited for him but the casting rumors are even better - Brad Pitt & Leonardo DiCaprio. I mean the guy is really trying to get the biggest actors he can. I'd just love to see Pitt in a QT film. That would be totally awesome. I want to see where he fits in with his world. I did some digging after reading a review of the script that finally made its rounds to some production heads and found a copy of it. I refuse to read it though. It's super tempting and I have it saved but I want to be suprised. Still. I can't help but think who'd they play.

The new news that made me jump out of my seat and yell like a little girl was Steven Spielberg is teaming up with Diablo Cody (AGAIN). There's no word what the project is, but she's already penned a pilot for him The United States of Tara. Diablo's my girl so I'm just excited for her. I can't wait to see what they two dreamed up together.

I was a bit worried when I found out that my favorite comedy - The Office right now was getting a spinoff for next year. I love The Office. Steve Carrell is the best. Just when I thought the show was starting to go downhill just a bit, they brought the refreshing Amy Ryan (Gone Baby Gone) on who is a tremendous actress. I mean, does that girl have range or what? The finale was easily one of the best season finales I've ever seen and best episodes of the show. So, they're doing a "spinoff" which is suppose to not even be a spinoff but an extensions. Anyway, the very good Aziz Ansari signed on earlier this summer but now we have Amy Poehler - who never fails to bring a smile to my face. I can't wait. It's already funny!

Good news as well - I got Dark Knight midnight screening tickets. That should be super awesome. The theater already has 3 showings sold out and the 4th one is filling up fast. The paper did an article about how big this is going to be. It also doesn't hurt that the reviews so far as only called it nothing short of a masterpiece. I can't wait for Thursday! Of course, I won't get home until 3 and I gotta be up at 6 so I can be in Philly by 8:30. Then I work, but it will be well worth the lack of sleep!

How does it feel?

I feel like writing. Writing what I have no idea. I feel like I need to feel inspired all over again. I said I was going to spend my summer days working on what I need to say but what if I don't have anything to say or any stories to tell. I feel like I should be out making stories but I got nothing. I don't have any struggles currently. I don't have heartache. I don't have a hint of romance to dream about. I don't have violent thoughts. I don't have much of anything to wonder or ponder I feel like.

Mostly what I've been trying to do is watch films that may inspire or read a few books I can be in awe with. Even listening to a few songs that can bring tears to my eyes. But nope, nothing. Everytime I think I'm inspired by something, something else takes over. My focus isn't good enough right now.

It makes me wonder what's happening with me right now. I'm reading this book - Diary and they say to produce real art - you have to suffer. Well I feel like I've suffered in my day but anymore, I can't help but smile and laugh with free moments.

I need to feel passion. In a way, I want to save someone because I feel like then I'll only save myself from being too empty with no role in the world. I want to sing music. I want to write epics. I want to see beauty. I want to feel love at it's purest. I want to inhale sunlight and exhale darkness. If I'm not contributing, then what am I doing? Nothing.

I certainly don't want to be nothing.

What Goes Around Comes Around You Fake Bitch!

I just wanna say first of all - I'm a deep person. I watch a lot of brilliant films and admire so many filmmakers. I read more books than most people and I watch World News Tonight every night and read the New York Times. I just wanted to put that out there before I discuss the vanity and shallow-ness which is reality television.

I think most reality TV is crap. I think almost anyone can agree with that. With that said, I have a few vices. I can't blame people, because it's so easy to get sucked in. I mean, it might have started with the Real World years and years ago and it's evolved into more than 50 percent of what's on. When we had the writers strike a few months back, we had nothing but reality television in fact. I mean, we could murder the most intellectual filmmakers, artists and writers and television would never die because all you gotta do is put 5 goodlooking crazy people into a room together and we'll watch it.

I have to admit it now, I watched MTV's A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila. Originally I said there was no way I was going to watch it, but a few friends at college on a bored Tuesday night got me into it. Heroes, The Office and Lost weren't on so we ran out of things to do on weekday nights. It was better than getting piss drunk but somehow gave you that same empty feeling.

So, I'm not going to try to rehash the drama. Tila choose Kristy and Kristy rejected her because she was confused. It's hella good reality drama. A woman decides on national television she's in love with another woman, only to be dumped by her. The question at stake is: is it real or is it fake?

At this point, we know that everything is manipulated by producers, editors and even writers. MTV is the king of it. Come on, there's no way Laguna Beach or The Hills were real. The sophisticated camera angles and lighting proved that. Sure, these kids couldn't act for shit but they were "good looking" which is why we watch. So, at this point, you gotta wonder what else are we investing into that's real or fake.

Tila Tequila herself is probably one of the biggest phonies who's name everyone knows. She basicially became famous by being attractive and getting myspace fans. She's considered the first "Internet" celebrity in fact. She's obviously begging for stardom getting her own reality series. The irony in all of this was today on Tila's official myspace page, she changed her name for a short time to "Tila Tequila: Kristy used me for reality tv" Uh, maybe someone needs to catch me up, but isn't Tila using the entire world for her own reality series? In the next week's previews of the reunion Tila calls Kristy a "fake bitch" and all Kristy has to say in return is "What goes around comes around."

So what does it matter? It's all nonsense anyway. Certainly it feels all too convenient for MTV and Tila and the irony of the world - but that's what makes great tv. I was a fan of Kristy and while I do think her confusion came suddenly, it's an understandable feeling for someone right about to take it all on. Tila's reaction of course is heartbreak but if you truly love someone shouldn't you be more caring/forgiving about something rather than be bitter? If love is real couldn't you work at it? Not when there's another few hundred thousand possible for Tila Tequila.

Basicially we love drama. It makes no difference. At first I would have felt bad for Tila because her face seemed as surprised as ours but calling someone a fake bitch when your record isn't spotless seems hypocritial. Yeah it sucks, but get over it. You can't force someone to love you like you seem to like to trick people into doing. Eating pig vagina just isn't going to prove love to someone. The few genuine people on the show - Dani, Brittany & Kristy perhaps don't make memorable tv as Chad, Vanessa, HeygirlHey and Amanda Ireton aka Frankenstein's Monster.

To be honest, I've written entirely too much on the subject already. Reality tv and the "genuine" ness of people is a thin line anymore. I said to my friends today that I could honestly just make my own reality series nowadays with my friends - all playing the key parts you need to do. As far as Tila and her shot at love goes. Next time, maybe it should be a gun shot at love. Like Kristy said, "What goes around Comes Around".

I'm just surprised her giant alien head holding that ego can still fit on that midget body.

A little fight in you, I like that...

As of right now, I'm totally obsessed in my mind with Wall-E. I mean, I'm reading as many reviews as I can, as many comments, hearing great opinions and having fantastic conversations. I can't wait until more people I know have seen it, so I can talk about it with them.

One thing is that I heard many comparisons to Modern Times. I've never seen Modern Times (a crime in itself I know) but I certainly get a bit of City Lights affect (my favorite Chaplin to date). I love the 2001 references. I live for them in fact. There are so many great moments in the film, I don't even know where to start. I definitely feel like I will need to see it again until I can officially compose my thoughts and write a pristine review.

I think the thing that draws me most to the film is how gutsy it is. I mean, it's in a class of it's own as far as how many risks it was willing to take. Yes it's slow. Yes it's silent. Yes there is live action. Yes it's politically correct. Yes it's a nontraditional love story. It's all the above and more but the thing that gets me is that near heartbreaking ending. I mean, woah. Talk about great film making. We haven't seen anything like it since Spielberg's ET. My one thought and almost regret about the film is a wonder about what if it would've went with that devastating finale. Of course, it's Disney and its for kids, so they made it safe. I completely understand that and I can't even hold it against the brilliant film. It's genius all around. But for one second, I think what if Wall-E never would have recognized Eve ever again? What kind of an impact would that have made. I certainly don't think kids would completely understand, but I think about it from a cinematic perspective and I just think how crazy it would've been. Would Eve have just followed Wall-E around heartbroken? I would like to think that even if he hadn't recognized her, he would eventually would've shown a hint of remembering if not completely. Like just that little ounce of hope is all we would've needed it.

These thoughts are just a little bit of what if.

I read a review about The Dark Knight and Hellboy 2 which I'm really looking forward to. It was one of the best reviews I ever read and one thing I want to quote that really got to me. I think it counts for Wall-E as an animation film and what other studios like Disney's animation and Dreamworks could do about it:

"Bottom line: these are films that are built to last. When someone says to me, “It’s just a comic book movie,” these are the films that make that statement pointless. Nothing has to be “just” a comic book movie or “just” a video game movie or “just” a remake or “just” a sequel. Every single time you set out to make a film, you have a chance to say something, a chance to genuinely affect your viewer. You don’t have to aim for “good enough.” Ambition is important, but HANCOCK proves that’s not enough. It’s ambition plus inspiration plus creative chemistry plus a little bit of dumb fucking luck that all come together to make movies like these. But the only reason they accomplish anything is because Christopher Nolan and Guillermo Del Toro and all the remarkable madmen they collaborated with in bringing them to the screen... they all dared to drop the word “just” from their vocabulary. They aimed for art. They aimed for pure enduring cinema.

And, good god, we are richer for it."

After 700 years of doing what he was built for - he'll discover what he's meant for.

About a year and a half ago, I stumbled upon a description of a film. It was very lengthy and detailed even with only describing the first quarter of a masterpiece in the making. It shooked me. It shooked me in a way nothing else I have ever read in just a treatment blew me away before. Everything about it sounded incredible. Beyond what someone could think of on film. But that wasn't what killed me. In the small upperhanded corner, there was a photo. One single shot of a film that I will always remember as iconic. I printed this few page description out. I showed it to a few people hoping that they shared my excitement. I think people humored me into listening, but I don't think anyone trusted the gravity of what I saw. That paper, I still have today. That photo, was Wall-E.

I could write endlessly about Pixar's brilliance as a studio. They've taken the dedication that Walt Disney had with his animation and made something even more perfect out of it. They went beyond the perfection of animation that Walt had, but with film as a whole. These people study it, they breath for it. No other studio in the world makes genius after genius movie like these guys do. They out do themselves, almost every single time. It's unheard of.

What I have heard of is negativity from people saying that the golden age of film is gone. We'll never get Bergman type films back. We'll never see a day where Fellini makes a film. We'll never have what Welles did with Citizen Kane. New cinema is gone. That could be true. We've got nothing left but CGI and what are we making out of that? Adaptating Beowulf and Transformers. All that I would agree with even. But, we have Pixar and I think it's every bit as good as Bergman or Fellini. I think it's every bit as important. Yes, it's apples and oranges as far as content. However, you ask 10 people if they've seen 8 1/2 or The Seventh Seal...maybe 2 have, 3 tops. Now how many of us have seen Toy Story? Every single person.

I haven't seen Wall-E yet. I plan on at least seeing it once this weekend. Perhaps a second and third time as well. I'll experience with different people. I already know it's perfect. I felt it for Finding Nemo when that came out. Andrew Stantion might be the best thing that happened to cinema in the past decade as far as I'm concerned with what he's directed.

Some of the reviews just to back up my claim of greatness:

"I must drop my inhibitions about dropping the M word -- especially since I've already used magnificent -- and call WALL-E the masterpiece that it is." - Wall Street Journal

"Some day, there will be college courses devoted to this movie." - New York Post

"It's remarkable to see any film, in any genre, blend honest sentiment with genuine wit and a visual landscape unlike any other." - Chicago Tribute

"Daring and traditional, groundbreaking and familiar, apocalyptic and sentimental, Wall-E gains strength from embracing contradictions that would destroy other films." - Los Angeles Times

"Pixar's ninth consecutive wonder of the animated world is a simple yet deeply imagined piece of speculative fiction...it has plenty to say, but does so in a light, insouciant manner that allows you to take the message or leave it on the table" - Variety

"Enough to restore your sense of wonder not only in movies, but in the universe as well." - metromix.com

"The idea that an ancient Hollywood musical, with its love duets and foot-tapping dance numbers, would be the thing that awakens emotions in both humans and robots, is pure genius." - Orlando Sentinel

I could go on...but you get the idea

Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me

First of all, I accidentally posted the wrong version of my movie. I might get around to posting the final draft of it up or I might not. It takes a few hours to load on youtube, so I don't know if I have the patience to sit through that again.




Yesterday I found an old Vanity Fair from a few months back lying around my room. I picked it up and started to read it. I was surprised by the brilliant articles in it. Like the one on Joan Crawford on the same book I was about to read. I was especially engrossed in the article all about the history of The Graduate.

Now The Graduate is one of the best films ever made. There's no denying that. One thing I always heard about it is that you don't even have to go to film school, you can just learn everything you'll ever need to know about film from watching The Graduate. I don't know if that's true, but I would have to say, the article I read was inspiring. I actually haven't ever seen the whole thing. I've watched pieces of it in my film classes. The first twenty minutes and the last twenty minutes for the most part. I know what happens. I've seen the biggest and important stuff. However, the article is fascinating because of how it came to be.

Originally, it was just a book someone read. Others viewed it as unfilmable, but ultimately they made a brilliant film out of it. You can see the generation gap in the sixties. It definitely wasn't the films from the 50s anymore. All those stars were 40 or older, but it wasn't quite the hollywood we advanced from in the 70s. The next person to get a hold of The Graduate, was Mike Nichols - a favorite director of mine. He's mostly a stage director, but what impresses me the most, is not only is connection to actors, but the camera. For a man who has done so much stage directing (and still doing it), he does the most unique and incredible things with a camera to capture something. I just recently watched Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf? and loved that. I don't think I've ever seen anything more insane than that. For that to be his first film, is an incredible thing - a gutsy thing. People don't even make films that crazy now a days. The Graduate was his second one. An incredible feat. He signed on for The Graduate before he even finished Wolf as well.

You really just have to see his work to know how he uses the camera. The shot of Dustin Hoffman under the legs of Mrs. Robinson is an iconic shot if you ever saw one. In Virginia Wolf, there are countless shots that make the film feel more insane than the acting to enhance it.

The Graduate was ahead of it's time. About a 21 year old guy who doesn't know what he wants to do with his life has an affair with his parents adult friend and then he falls for the woman's daughter. It's absurd to think about, but it's very much a piece about figuring out your life than anything. The concept was unheard of. No one wanted to touch it. Dustin Hoffman was an unknown at the time. No one wanted a jewish stage actor either. Anne Bancroft had never even played sexy before. It was a first with everything. Even the music, done by two unknowns at the time - Simon and Garfunkel is iconic. Everyone has heard that song. It's just perfect for the film.

What's inspiring for me, is to think of a film that was completely outside of the box. It ran only in art house films. Nobody understood it, until they did the college circuit. Students saw it 15 times. I mean, that's art when it can connect with a younger generation like that. It's inspiring to think of a time when stuff like this wasn't made, and then to be the first of all kinds. It's incredible. It just makes me have hope that there's still a film that can shock and surprise and impress be left to be made. Perhaps, maybe by me.

The Big Date

It is my sprit that addresses your spirit; just as if both had passed through the grave, and we stood at God's feet, equal - as we are

I've been thinking of how I see things with a passion for life. I feel like seizing moments, but I don't have any moments to seize. It's the tragedy of my story. I view the culture of music, film and books with awe. I don't know how a person can just create out of thin air. I admire stories and words. I think that's why I love these things more than anything. I mean, to say something, a great quote or line. To describe a feeling that's indescribable, that's worth something. I mean, a picture or a metaphor, you can interpret that. Don't get me wrong, art is wonderful because you can interpret anything. But to say something exactly how you mean - it's like cutting air.

Maybe lately, I've been surrounding myself with these things that make me realize how much beauty there is with words. I've been reading Jane Eyre and I love it. I never found myself reading "classics" typically before. I never saw myself as someone to relate to something from the 1800s but there's so much beauty in the tale. Words weren't written so beautiful before. So much passion and love went into this novel. It was harder then to write a manuscript, I'm sure of. The time and labor paid off. Each word, literally feels perfectly chosen. Like it was meant to be there. I admire it wholeheartedly for it's language. I think I need to use more adjectives in my sentences or something.

I picked up the new coldplay cd and I've been listening to it nonstop. The only other thing I've been listening to is the other Coldplay albums to compare. I mean, the music in this one is brilliant. I think my most listened to song on the album is "Life in Technicolor" which is completely instrumental. However, I find that their lyrics are some of the most beautiful words ever sung. It just makes me feel good inside.

I mean, back to words- words - you have to imagine the beauty when you read them. I honestly think they're the most powerful force in the world. They tell a story with everything. Everything has a title or a name. No matter what you ever look at or ever see or hear or feel. You always - ALWAYS - use words to depict it. That makes all the difference.

You see the world in black and white
No colour or light
You think you'll never get it right
But you're wrong... you might

Now, if we all have our own, like, individual, unique soul, right, where do they all come from?

Somedays I really like hiding. I like to be alone with my thoughts, even if I have no real thoughts at all.

Some days I feel like no one ever understands me and I wonder if anyone ever will. I mean, I don't even understand me. And I am me. I use to think I was meant to do something. But really what gives me any right to do so? Because I'm conscious? Because I'm self aware. Because I survived? Darwin's Survival of the Fittest is suppose to make me feel bigger in this universe. Even bigger than religion which he disproves. But how can anyone be bigger than themselves? We make people bigger than who they are, but ultimately our favorite/most important inspirations in our lives are just people who had their own problems, had milk in their cereal and ultimately felt just as insecure as anyone else. We make others bigger than themselves. But we never truly understand them. Oh - how we want to. But do lovers even ever understand each other? I mean truly. Do we ever have soul mates?

I'd like to meet a soul. Not a person, but a soul. We assume souls are our conscious, moral fiber and well being. But why do we just assume that the soul of a person is the good? What if, I'm a good person, but a bad soul? Just one day, I'd like to feel like a soul, not a person, but a spirit that doesn't need anything except perhaps another soul to float with. Is that understanding? Two souls staring into each other becoming one? I would feel like that would be love. But, sometimes souls don't connect. Sometimes we never let ourselves be aware. Some people just aren't conscious. They consume themselves in things to take that away. Maybe those people who are hurting and inflicting their own souls - they don't even understand or connect with their souls. How can two souls meet if we don't even understand our own soul?

For now, I'll have nothing but myself. Even on good days, I might not even have that. I don't even have today. Because, today will eventually be gone. The only thing that ever stays still and consistent for me is in fact, me. I'd hate to lose myself. So this is why I like hiding. My thoughts, my soul. All mine. I guess I like to be alone so much because it's even crowded in there. With that soul of mine taking up so much space, it's hard to feel empty.

I think when I'm with the people I love though, my soul leaves and hangs out with the other souls around me. I picture it joking around the way children do with other children. Souls together I mean. Like play-mates. I suppose it's why I feel so good and forget myself with others. But at the end of the day after playing, my soul always comes back to me and rests itself and it's problems with me.

So,perhaps we never have real soul mates, but just play-mates. Like the ones our mommies or daddies use to take us to when we were little. And perhaps then, we are the parents for our soul. And after we die, our souls are on their own for the first time. And we may never know what our soul children do without us. You just have to trust and understand them the best way you can. And then, my soul will find it's own way. I think I'd like that.

I don't want to command what my soul should do forever. I want it to be bigger than me. And maybe that's why we never understand other people or even ourselves for that matter. We're solely focused on what we leave behind - what kind of souls we raise to illuminate and to reflect ourselves.

So really, it's not my problems that matter. It's my soul I'm worried about.

Wow. I really blame Before Sunrise for this random rant.

I had the same butt sand as Marilyn Monroe's butt sand.

Well I'm back from my long waited trip. It really makes me sad that it's over. I now sort of ran out of things to look forward to now. Don't get me wrong, my life isn't over but I just accomplished something and I'm at the end of the list for now. I didn't want to leave the city. I mean, I loved it. Now, granted, I still fear that it will chew me up and spit me out alive but there was a beauty and excitement to it. I loved the different parts of San Diego. Whether it was the beach where Billy Wilder filmed Some Like It Hot or Downtown area, it's an incredible city and I could understand why anyone would want to live there. LA is like an entire different ballpark. Like, I don't know why you wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I just had this smile on my face that never went away. The only reason I could get myself to leave was to tell myself that I have to go back. Like, I can't imagine not going back. I have the be in that city again. Julia was right, even the bums look happier there. When we flew away, all I could think of looking down at the city was how it looked like a city shining of gold.

I'm sure I'll be recapping it again and again for the rest of the summer, but I'll just leave you with that.

PS. The Marilyn Monroe Buttsand thing is when I was on the same beach as where they filmed Some Like It Hot, clearly, she got sand in her butt and I got sand in my butt - hence, the same butt sand as Marilyn Monroe's butt sand. My friends like to argue that with science, there's no way it would be the same sand. I argue that Marilyn Monroe defied science, so why can't her butt sand?

Female seeking life. No Exp. Necessary

It's been a while. I've been home since Tuesday night and I've been very busy. Of course, it took me like 5 days to finish unpacking. It was Kristen's birthday this past week and we attempted to celebrate and have three parties for her so it was a busy party planning week. Friday, I'll be on a plane heading for California. I have so much to do before I head out west.

One thing I wanted to talk about is how amazing the internet has evolved. I mean, now I can't seem to live without it and I've been using it for years obviously. It seems my generation has gotten adapted to it but it's more than that. Five years ago, no one I knew had myspace. Three years ago, I had never heard of facebook. Blogging is now the cool new thing to do. I was reading an article in the newspaper today about how this one girl who graduated from College used facebook to get a job. What's one thing no one really thinks of is that employers actually do look at facebook and myspace as background check to see what kind of person you are. It's amazing how we have made the internet so personal. All of the most recent photos of me are on the web posted by other people. It's a frightening real thing. Many of the people I am friends with won't realize it for another year or so when they're looking for jobs how it really could affect them. And why shouldn't employers used it? I bet it tells you more things about a person than just checking if they had a felony. But it's scary. I know there aren't any pictures of me on there of being wasted but some of them could be misleading. I'm not too worried about it now but one day, I should definitely go through and delete any suspicious pictures of me.

I never knew what craigslist was until recently. Before I took my one final, these two girls were talking about how they found a job on craigslist. I had vaguely known what it was before. But actually, that's how my roommates and I found our house. Is there anything more shady than craigslist? Apparently, my generation has become the generation of the black market. Nothing will be done in newspaper or professional printing anymore. Our news come from bloggers like myself, classifies from creepy people with their own objective and any information you want on a person from facebook. What will the internet bring in the next 5 years? Who knows.

Goodbye to North Philadelphia.

One more day and I'll be done.

Of course, nothing is ever that easy to say your just "done". There's a lot to say goodbye to. I'm going to have my own house in this city next time I live here. I'll be an official resident. I'll have to meet the neighbors, as my mom puts it, "so they will know to murder me first."

I'll take a lot of things from Philadelphia with me back home. One of them is going to be this nasty cough and no voice I've been carrying around with me for days. I go to the doctors today and the nurse doesn't know what to do with me so she takes me to the head doctor, who seems to be completely amazed at my medical history. It was kinda funny. They looked at me like I was a medical marvel but they could not solve the mystery of my whooping cough. So, apparently cough drops and nyquil will have to just solve all my problems for now. My mom told me this funny story where she didn't warn this nurse about my medical history when she went to look at me or look at an X-ray or something and my mom said she completely freaked out and started screaming "This baby has been cut in half!!!" Well duh, I had open heart surgery. They had to cut me open. But it's fun when I go to the doctors. I'm a little bit more special than the rest of you.

So, I have two finals I have not studied for yet. And my dad and I have to load up everything I have here and then we're stopping by my house before I head home tomorrow night. Long day indeed. I haven't packed so much as a toothbrush yet. So much for enjoying my last day here! It's just ironic when you need a minute to breathe and be nostalgic - but you don't have time because you gotta pack your shit up. It don't matter. By the time I'm unpacked at home, I'll be on a plane heading for California.

I Kissed a Girl and Liked It!

So I go through phases of music. One day, there's nothing I ever feel like listening to. The next day, I'm discovering 20 new songs I absolutely love to put in a playlist. I figure I'd list a few songs that I can't get enough of:

1. Coldplay "Viva La Vida" - Coldplay is one of my favorite bands and they've linked two new songs before their new album is coming out. Violet Hill was the first and I thought that was good, but Viva La Vida is godly.

2. Robyn "Be Mine" acoustic - Robyn is a swedish artist who came out with a song like 10years ago called "Show me Love". Well she's back with some crazy techno stuff. It's all kickass - but the acoustic cover of Be Mine is one of the most heartbreaking songs I've ever heard.

3. Robyn "Handle Me" This is an example of her kickass techno

4. Katy Perry "Your so gay and you don't even like boys" I love fun music and Katy Perry has the most fun songs I've heard in a long time

5. Katy Perry "I Kissed a Girl (and liked it)" This is another fun one. It's not nearly as funny as "Your so gay" but maybe it's just my sense of humor. The beat is off the hook.

6. Kylie Minogue "All I see" - Okay, I've been listening to some of the songs off of Kylie's new album and this is the album that Madonna (or Madge as they call her in England) should have made! I've pretty much loved all the songs but this is easily the standout. It's so hot. I just wanna dance to it in the club right now!

7. Boyce Avenue "Change Your Mind" - Back to my acoustic rock roots. I mean, I through phrases of whatever and mostly, I like mellow stuff. This guy's voice is like magic.

8. Kate Voegle "It's Only Life" - It's pop and I like it.

9. MIA "Paper Planes" - Yeah this is the hottest rap song I've heard in a long time

10. Leona Lewis "Bleeding Love" - Who doesn't love this song?

Thoughts to get by with:

I'm going into the final stretch of my sophomore year of college. I have one more class left, 4 finals and 1 film project standing in my way of summer. I'm spending a part of my summer in California with my 3 best friends which I'm greatly excited about. I mean, I always dreamed of going to Cali and perhaps living there one day - but what really makes it special is that I have 3 great friends who share this desire and dream of mine. I consider myself a very lucky person. Some people search their whole lives looking for the boy they want to spend out the rest of their life with. As of right now, I'm not even thinking about that nonesense because who knows if it really exists. I have friends who I wake up for everyday and always find amazing things to do with.

With that said, for my last week here in Philadelphia - I just want to be alone.

I think I could have a split personality because half the time, I love having endless days with the best people I know and the other part of me, loves curling up by myself, not being with anyone except for maybe Kitty and watching movies. I know everyone has those days but I wish those days would last for weeks. I like being by myself. I like to get things done. I read, I watch movies I always meant to watch. I work on screenplays and outlines. I spend hours making the perfect mixs of music. I play N64. I geek out about comic book movies on message boards. I literally have a blast when I'm by myself.

I don't understand people who can't be alone. There's so much to do and so much to get done! Don't get me wrong. Ihang out with my friends a lot but whenever I'm not with them, I'm still really enjoying myself. I don't get depressed. I don't worry the next time I see them because I figure, that's probably only going to be another 12 to 24 hours away.

I really can't wait to be home. It's going to be amazing. I can't think of anything I'm more excited about than California. A little piece of my dreams are coming true just by being there. My heart flutters when I think about it. But I don't want to think about it. I don't want to be completely distracted. I have a week go to and I want to stay focused and there are so many things I want do finsih before I get summer started. I have about 10 more hours of editing to put into my final film. I have finals to prepare for. I want to finish the Subtle Knife before I get deep into summer reading with weekly library visits. I want to make the best damn summer 08 mix before it actually starts. I want to watch a few movies inbetween my studies so I can relax. I want to geek out about Iron Man until the next big blockbuster comes out. I want the part of me who likes to be alone get all the time in before the other part of me gets to spend endless summer days with her friends.

Yesterday, I spent 9 hours doing editing. Today? I'm taking a breather for myself. I went to the tech center with the thought of doing my project and every computer with final cut had been taken. I didn't feel like waiting around. When you sit down and work on something, you have to want to. You have to give 100 percent. Today, I feel like reading. Today, I want to watch a few movies. Today, I want to sleep. Tomorrow, I'll get up early. I'll spend a good 5 hours at least listening to the same sounds over and over again. Tomorrow, I'll be studying for a biology quiz. Tomorrow, I'll be sitting in race class in the middle of a beautiful day copying down review notes. Today I'll be alone. Tomorrow, I'll be alone. But soon, one of these tomorrows, will be summer. And that means tomorrow is soon today. At least, this is what I tell myself.

Why so serious?

So summer movies kick off on Friday and Iron Man looks like a lot of fun but what really interests me this summer is of course The Dark Knight. The marketing campaign for it has been really incredible. Heath Ledger seems to be pitch perfect as the Joker. I am seriously pumped for this. On one of the very many campaigns they've done - they had a contest and gave away 12 free reels of the un-released trailer at a trailer screening. Little did the winners know that they were going home with a jokerized verison of it. I love it. It's brilliant. The HD trailer will be online by Monday, but I think this is the neat one. Whenever they can do something fresh and new with a movie, then I'm there.

Happiness only real when shared.

"I'm going to paraphrase Thoreau here... rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness... give me truth."

Into the Wild is one of the most interesting films I've seen in a while. It's quite a character driven piece from our protagonist - Chris McCandless (played by Emile Hirsch). Chris graduates college, only to burn identification, give his life saving to charity and travel across country in an adventure that will lead him to living in the pure wild of Alaska. He chooses to do this because he says he wants to get away from society and be apart of nature.

What's interesting about this dynamic is while he tries to do the most unselfish thing - he becomes selfish in doing so. He never tells a sole where he is going, thus affecting his entire family. He meets many friends all of which, worries about his high spirits to Alaska will destroy him. He's a kind person, but he doesn't realize how his alienation effects those who love him and how it will later affect that he needs people.

The core of the film is seen through flashbacks of the different people he meets and makes friends with. With any of them, he could have just stayed with and lived out his life perfectly happy - but after he wears out his welcome, he travels on westward to Alaska to reach his nature.

The film is a celebration of his life, but at the same time through the subtle changes in screenplay, Sean Penn shows how Chris actually condemns himself. He chooses to disown society, but he realizes that society is something that human beings need - not nature. We thrive on each other. There's a certain balance to this film which I love. You can view it two sided. You can see Chris as a free-spirit with the right philosophy of life, or you can see Chris' actions as a mistake and misjudgement of humanity. I love the self-awareness of the movie and the tragedy that it turns out to be. It feels like a beautiful epic journey, but shows the realness of it all.

On the outside, it can be seen as a film about the idealism of nature, but on the inside it's about relationships we share with others as human beings. At times, the movie is frustrating for an audience watching someone make such a mistake because the man character fails to see what life is really about but Sean Penn brings a lot to the table as a filmmaker. It's a brilliant thing to do as a filmmaker to be able to show the dual perspective of two sides to a character and a film.

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw

I love weekends with really good movies. I haven't felt this good in really long time. I mean there's not a lot of things in life that can geniunely cheer you up like a really good movie. Whether or not it's something you've seen a thounsand times before or a new one left to be discovered.

One of the many movies I watched over the weekend was Heathers starring Winona Ryder. I'm a true Winona Ryder fan right down to the end. I love her in the good and be bad. There's something so beautiful and cynical about her. Especially in her teenager years. Very dark. Very opposite of Molly Ringwald only a few years earlier.

Before Mean Girls and before Juno - Heathers had created the perfect teen comedy. It shows the society that high school really is and the one-liners that only great movie dialogue and teenagers can get away with saying. I personally think people need to say "Whats your damage?" more. I want to make it a part of my vocabulary. I love the darkness of it. The humor is so twisted I can't help but feel a littke psychic when laughing. But isn't that what high school is? Psychic? It brings out every person's deepest thoughts of killing in a perfect satire form. Plus, Veronicia Sawyer is just so cool.

" I prayed for the death of Heather Chandler many times and I felt bad everytime I did it but I kept doing it anyway. Now I know you understood everything. Praise Jesus, Hallelujah."

These things happened. They were glorious and they changed the world... and then we fucked up the endgame

Someone outside my window is making noises that remind me of when Judge Doom turns into a cartoon during Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Creepy stuff from my childhood. I love that movie now, but I remember being like 3 years old and being so freaked out by that part. Even now, it stuff haunts me a little bit. I can't wait until I have children to scar for life like my parents did to me.

Speaking of movies, I just recently watched Charlie Wilson's War and I was surprised by how good it was. Not necessarily the movie as a whole - it had a bunch of great people working on it, so you know it's gonna be solid. Especially a script by Aaron Sorkin and direction by Mike Nichols. But the man who was Charlie Wilson completely fascinating. I mean, he took a budget from 5 million dollars to 1 billion dollars in less than a decade. I just fell in love with what he did. It's very ironic as well for our times and what he did to bring down the Soviet Union and the current state of Afghanistan. I love movies that make me want to learn. Also, Phillip Seymour Hoffman I could watch in anything. I plan on checking out Charlie Wilson's book when I'm done with school. I really want to read it now.

'There's a little boy and on his 14th birthday he gets a horse... and everybody in the village says, "how wonderful. the boy got a horse" And the Zen master says, "we'll see." Two years later The boy falls off the horse, breaks his leg, and everybody in the village says, "how terrible." And the Zen master says, "We'll see." Then a war breaks out and all the young men have to go off and fight... except the boy can't cause his legs messed up. and everyone in the village says, "How wonderful." '

Dear Mr(s). President...

I'm a democrat. I thought about for a long time whether or not I wanted to support either Clinton or Obama. I watched dozens of the debates and read the newspaper everyday at one point to catch a glimpse of my future president. Now, I'm rather ashamed to even have put so much hope into this election.

After several months of paying attention I decided on Hillary Clinton. Don't get me wrong, just because I like her doesn't mean I do not like Barack Obama. I most certainly do. I would very happy with either as my president and would support one of the two no matter what. In the last two months the election hasn't been the same on either side. It's really sad. Clinton has turned to negative campaigning because she is trailing from behind. Obama has turned his campaign into rockstar-dome. It's really just become cool to support him and bash Hillary even though at one point, their views weren't far from one another.

People are saying I've had enough of Hillary. Well I feel the same for Obama. It's really been shoved down my throat that he's the CHANGE and the HOPE of America's future. I miss the days when I read about our politicans views and opinions. I haven't heard one word out of either one of them on what they're going to do. Just that they should become President because they're more experienced or because they don't take money from lobbyist. That's all neither here nor there when it comes down to it.

There's a fantastic article in the NY Times I read on the subject. I couldn't agree more:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/23/opinion/23wed1.html?ex=1366603200&en=25460e9924d12741&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

Go Shorty, it's your birthday...

Today is my Birthday! I turn 20 and I feel like an oldhead. No more being a teenager and getting away with stuff. Now I have to pretend to get away with stuff. Who knows what the future will bring, but I know it will bring me to California because in a month I'll be out west which is a fantastic present if I do say so myself.

I've been really busy lately. Last week I spent a lot of time editing my film project with my partner which I'm really proud of. Friday, I went home for the first time in a while and it felt really great. Jenna and Kristen threw me a little bash and it was a lot of fun just hanging out and laughing. It makes me just really look forward to summer so much. Saturday I got to hang out with my family which doesn't happen a lot. I pretty much saw my whole family as well. I got a lot of fantastic gifts. More books than I'm ever gonna have time to read and a few great movies too. My mom got me a Coach bag, so my vanity rate just went up a point.

Sunday, I went to NYC and hung around there. I saw the musical In The Heights and it was quite good if I do say so myself. I saw the girl who played the main character after the show and told her she was just wonderful :) I'd love to go back to NYC really soon and see another show. I forgot how much fun it can be just walking around the city. Philadelphia doesn't have the same excitement. Maybe because I'm a tourist, but I've been to NYC dozens of times before and my eyes still light up when I see that skyline. I still get a thrill out of standing in the middle of time square. I wonder if I lived there, I'd feel that way every morning.

When Kristen and Jenna asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I told them one of them was with Mario Lopez and I actually did (sorta) spend my birthday with him as much as I could.

I was in the Mariott Hotel and I have to say it's one of the most beautiful buildings I've ever been in. It's just amazing. I mean, the structure inside was incredible. I wanna live in it. Next year I wanna hit the rooftop bar.

It's like rain on your wedding day...

Today is considered one of the biggest days on campus. It's called Spring Fling and basically, a big fair of events and music all throughout campus. What it really is, a day where everyone skips classes and gets trashed starting at noon. I was standing on the corner this morning and it was 9:30 and this guy walks by on his way to class stumbling and laughing saying, "I'm not drunk yet" when he clearly was. It's just an interesting thing to see. What the real irony that I love about Spring Fling at Temple is after it's over. It gets so crowded, it takes an extra 20 minutes to get to class because you literally can't get from point A to point B without massive amounts of people in front of you standing around. After it's all over and the music stops and everyone goes home, I was walking through campus, the amount of trash left over is sickly. What's most ironic is that the whole reason Spring Fling actually goes on is to recycle and speak out about the environment. When it's said and done, I've never seen so much trash and dirt before. It's a beautiful thing how we destroy the things we set out to do.

In my Intellectual Heritage II class today, we were reading Gandhi and my teacher asks us how we could apply Gandhi's passive philosophy to modern day and this girl raises her hand and says that we could use it to legalize marijuana by all smoking it so that they would have to legalize it. I really don't know why I bother going sometimes. I'm sure Gandhi would be proud to know that his philosophy of life from India is going to be taken for good use in present day life. Really now! I hang my head in shame as a college student today.

Finally, this seriously scares me:

Film school is a little like Ed Wood and a little like Charlie Chaplin

So I have a lot of stuff coming up and going on in the next month or so. First of all, Saturday I spent the entire day filming my final film project. I can't think of anything more stressful and problem-matic than that. Basically my film class is one big lecture on the million things that can go wrong with the Bolex camera and how to defeat the odds. My whole class is basically making a movie Charlie Chaplin style where you have to produce, edit, direct, star and score everything yourself with 16 mm film. I love the sharp-ness of it, but it's 10x more difficult than video. I pretty much feel like Ed Wood also because we have to edit everything in camera so I'm watching actors mess up takes and having lighting, sound and prop problems and I hear myself going "THAT WAS GREAT!" Since I have only one take with every shot.

So it's an impossible feat where there are 4 different ways there are camera jams and 5 different ways of light leaks. Not to mention the same faulty equipment that D.W Griffith shot with. I have only three rolls of film and I have to wait a week before it even comes back to lab where I'll probably find out that it is COMPLETELY black and I have no footage. Then, even if I have footage, the lighting will be inconsistent, the acting/continutaty off, the framing out of focus and anything else you can think of that could be awful. Thus then, I have to transfer it twice from FILM to DVC to CD. Then I have to completely foley all the sound in myself where I make my friends stomp around while I record footsteps. After doing all that, then I sit for hours with a million corrections of editing to make. THEN, when it's completed with hope I get through all that, I screen it in front of a hundred or more people with them all judging it like the hack that I am and the critics they are. Oh, the magic of movie making. I keep asking myself, WHY THE HELL WOULD ANYONE WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS?

So yeah, the filming part is done, and I'm really praying to the movie gods that it's fine. I have to give much credit to Andy and Linda for acting in it. And also the 6'5''+ football player named Steve whom I pulled out of the hallway and made him act in it randomly when he was supposed to be icying his knee. There's still so much to do, but while it's processing in the lab, I'm working on my other project with my co-directing partner Chrissy. I'm actually really excited for the project we're working on. I spent a few hours editing it and fixing some lighting consistency with her and I think it looks pretty good. There's still the sound to go, but I might have a project from this class that I heaven forbid, actually show other people and be proud to call my own. Overall, at least I'll have something to look back on and say, "yeah, I made this with 16 mm film, what did you do at college bitches!!!"

Love is...

I think love is like a granola bar. You sit down on the couch and you're so hungry but there's nothing to eat but that damn granola bar. You really want a big grand meal, but who knows when something better is going to come along. That granola bar in your purse is all mushed and warm from Monday when you put it in there. It's now Thursday and you figure, you better bite it to substitute what's missing. Something better could come along, but you remember, that granola bar is right there. Nobody ever really wants to eat it, but you got nothing else. Little do you know, that's love.

Birthday Girl

My birthday is coming up next week and my friends asked what I wanted. I gave them quite a lengthy list. This is just a small fraction of what I am expecting:

Nachos
An Elephant
Pink Balloons
Green Streams
Noise Makers
Lucky Charms
Patrick Dempsy pictures
Hungry Hungry Hippos
Percheezi
Mario Lopez
Cotton Candy Machine
Orange Gatorade
Salad with Kraft italian dressing
Sparkling Cider
Funfetti
There must be a performance of Unchained Melody from everyone present
Strings of Kettle corn popcorn
Construction paper change - ALL BROWN
Everyone MUST be wearing orange
Possible Robin Hood theme
A marathon of Bette Davis movies starting with All About Eve and ending with Rosemary's Baby with all thats inbetween.

There is also a special guest list that I'm looking forward to. If anyone can make these things happen, it will be a very special 20th Birthday on my end. Jenna and Kristen, I'm counting on you.

Are you there Margaret, it's me God

This morning I woke up with a sore throat and debated whether or not I wanted to go to my early Biology lecture. Needless to say, the reason I decided to go was because I always have that vision of "what if I miss something important?" enter my head, so I usually never miss a class.

My biology teacher usually lectures for an hour and a half straight and I never have time to write down any of the powerpoint because he talks so fast. Sometimes he'll show us youtube videos of boring cells reproducing or some sort of atom movement. Anyway, today the topic was Genetics and I'm glad as hell I didn't miss this video he showed us.

I don't know what it has to do with Genetics except that Patrick Stewart has a mutated XY chromosome of EPIC DANCE MOVES!

So this is my first blog entry. I just really like writing so I figured I might as well get what I have to say out there in cyberspace. (They still call it cyberspace right?) Basically I'm going to just try to blog about my day or whatever nonsense I hear/see about.

I asked some of my friends to come up with names for my blog and this is what they came up with:

Backfat Backzilla
Bride-zilla Backpack Backfat Backzilla
Backpack Backzilla
Asspack Backzilla
Assback Bride-zilla
Backass Assback Back-zilla
Backfat Assback Bundling Bride-zilla
B-Spot
Fire Crotch (Although I'm pretty sure this is copyrighted Lindsay Lohan)

I think it's safe to say, they like to add "ass", "fat", "backpack" and "zilla" to things. I'm not sure any of those things truly represent who I am, so I went with the safe "Downtown" Brittni Brown name.

Until next time,

Brittni