Thoughts to get by with:

I'm going into the final stretch of my sophomore year of college. I have one more class left, 4 finals and 1 film project standing in my way of summer. I'm spending a part of my summer in California with my 3 best friends which I'm greatly excited about. I mean, I always dreamed of going to Cali and perhaps living there one day - but what really makes it special is that I have 3 great friends who share this desire and dream of mine. I consider myself a very lucky person. Some people search their whole lives looking for the boy they want to spend out the rest of their life with. As of right now, I'm not even thinking about that nonesense because who knows if it really exists. I have friends who I wake up for everyday and always find amazing things to do with.

With that said, for my last week here in Philadelphia - I just want to be alone.

I think I could have a split personality because half the time, I love having endless days with the best people I know and the other part of me, loves curling up by myself, not being with anyone except for maybe Kitty and watching movies. I know everyone has those days but I wish those days would last for weeks. I like being by myself. I like to get things done. I read, I watch movies I always meant to watch. I work on screenplays and outlines. I spend hours making the perfect mixs of music. I play N64. I geek out about comic book movies on message boards. I literally have a blast when I'm by myself.

I don't understand people who can't be alone. There's so much to do and so much to get done! Don't get me wrong. Ihang out with my friends a lot but whenever I'm not with them, I'm still really enjoying myself. I don't get depressed. I don't worry the next time I see them because I figure, that's probably only going to be another 12 to 24 hours away.

I really can't wait to be home. It's going to be amazing. I can't think of anything I'm more excited about than California. A little piece of my dreams are coming true just by being there. My heart flutters when I think about it. But I don't want to think about it. I don't want to be completely distracted. I have a week go to and I want to stay focused and there are so many things I want do finsih before I get summer started. I have about 10 more hours of editing to put into my final film. I have finals to prepare for. I want to finish the Subtle Knife before I get deep into summer reading with weekly library visits. I want to make the best damn summer 08 mix before it actually starts. I want to watch a few movies inbetween my studies so I can relax. I want to geek out about Iron Man until the next big blockbuster comes out. I want the part of me who likes to be alone get all the time in before the other part of me gets to spend endless summer days with her friends.

Yesterday, I spent 9 hours doing editing. Today? I'm taking a breather for myself. I went to the tech center with the thought of doing my project and every computer with final cut had been taken. I didn't feel like waiting around. When you sit down and work on something, you have to want to. You have to give 100 percent. Today, I feel like reading. Today, I want to watch a few movies. Today, I want to sleep. Tomorrow, I'll get up early. I'll spend a good 5 hours at least listening to the same sounds over and over again. Tomorrow, I'll be studying for a biology quiz. Tomorrow, I'll be sitting in race class in the middle of a beautiful day copying down review notes. Today I'll be alone. Tomorrow, I'll be alone. But soon, one of these tomorrows, will be summer. And that means tomorrow is soon today. At least, this is what I tell myself.