And I'm afraid to sleep because of what haunts me such as living with the uncertainties.

I feel like I should be talking about what's going on with me. Lately I've just been rambling about movies or other non related topics of myself. Perhaps, I'm trying to avoid figuring out what's going on with "me" - whoever that may or may not be.

So Summer is slowing down. It honestly felt like that since I came back from California. Ironically, that's all I can think about going back to now. I have no idea how I'm going to do it, but I need to. It's just one of those small things that feels like you are finally making the right decision. Still, that's a long way off. I think about it a lot, but then I wonder who will come with me and who I'll leave behind. Obviously I can't take people with me who don't want to go but I have my own dreams and I'd be selfish to ask anyone I love to change their plans. I make plans with certain people. Some people I can't imagine my life without and I'm still living without them. I think about where people are often. I wonder and I miss them. I wonder what they're doing, what they're life is like. How'd we would be if we still saw each other. So many people pass right on through and I guess I'm expected more to do the same. Hopefully somewhere I'll satisfy the right balance.

I've been stressing about living in Philadelphia recently. Mainly because I went from one house to having a water leaking/mold problem to now trying to get another house. I'm signing the lease today and hopefully that will be the last I'll worry about. I want to go down to Philadelphia next week and start to settle a bit in and try to think about enjoying the city. Hopefully I can take advantage to what the city has to offer. I know in a month from now, I'll be completely on my own. I mean, I'll still be in school but I won't be in a dorm room. Everyone I know is either 21 or older or on the verge soon. I have no idea what to expect with my wild days from now. In fact, I have no idea what to expect from today. I'm suppose to go clubbing tonight. It's approaching fast. Still, I'm excited about school and seeing my friends and what crazy nonsense I'm going to get myself into, who I'll see often to share it with and what kinds of projects and knowledge I'll gain from the next few months. I'm doing some producing and screenwriting in the fall so I can't wait for that.

I'm working on a screenplay right now. What I'll reveal about it is that it's a real life story based on some of my high school events. It's very strange to have to make yourself recall and revisit memories and photographs. Times that I recall were bad, I almost no longer recall as bad because of how it made me as a person and how I reflect on it now. I miss almost everything from High School. I hope that when I finish this, I'll be able to have some closure on the subject. It's also very strange to depict people from your memory. Obviously this being based on a real story from High School - I'm taking from other people I actually know. It feels sort of wrong writing about people you know - especially people you don't see anymore because I wonder if anyone would read or see what I wrote, how'd they take it. It's a very strange thing but I'm just trying to get out what I experienced. I'm not trying to tell anyone elses story but that's what you end up doing. But no one else is out there writing their life and if they ever choose to do that, then I would support whatever they had to say about me. Each person has a chance to tell their sides of things. I suppose that's what I do on this blog - tell my sides to things.

Anyway, I'm full of inspiration and hope and nostalgic at this point. Not too shabby for me I suppose.